...a mind with far too many thoughts

if you can't light the fire, then just put candles in the fire place.

(my aunt is brilliant)

due to the rate at which my thoughts are evolving, I am making a list of what is on my mind...


*church politics make me scream. i love my pastor.
*i can always depend on my mom to tell me the truth
*i like being with people one-on-one and really getting to know them.
*i can't stop falling in love with Jesus. every time i step outside He shows me a creation even more beautiful.

*look out the window more often. go outside.
*there is no sense in worrying over things that only last for a moment

*my brother really needs to lose his girlfriend. i really can't stand how she treats him.
*i want to meet people who are genuine. i want to meet people who are real. i want to meet people who will love endlessly.

*i hate being compared to people and i want it to stop. i don't care if you think im horrible. i don't care if you think im great. just, please, get to know me.
*new years resolutions are not my thing.
*petty people should be booted.
*i miss being young with my brothers. picking on each other. laughing with each other. riding bikes together. helping each other "run away" from home even when that just means pitching a tent in the backyard. having someone to be with 24/7.
*learning to be content is hard to do
*is being content really a good thing?
*i want to go for more bike rides, maybe a bike trip across the country
*i love the smell of incense burning...even if my dad tells me it will give me a lung cancer. i think he is crazy.
*home is one place I can find peace of mind. at least for a good amount of time.
*im tired of being judged
*i want to get married on top of a mountain, but i know that won't happen
*i'm my own person, so please stop telling me how to act
*i want to go backpacking, right now

*every time i come home i learn more about myself. i'm learning to show my true self to others.
*glistening snow is a beautiful thing, even if it means i'm stuck at home
*i miss kyle like crazy
*i miss having someone to talk to
*i want to go on a road trip like the guys in the book Through Painted Deserts, which is a fantastic read
*what exactly does it mean to be a hermit? and am i becoming one?
*i wish snow angels could get up and walk with me
*i want to have a library in my future home
*worship. thats all i want to do.

*a blue sky in the winter is amazing.
*this past semester was mind boggling. i lost myself. i found myself.
*it's difficult to talk to my grandpa. and i get so mad at myself that I can't because I know he won't be around for much longer. i'm scared of losing one more person that i'm close to.
*i'm highly considering working in Alaska this summer
*i want to get away
*i'm going to grad school in California. and im excited to surf. among other things.
*i want to record music

*i want to raise my children the same way my parents raised me.

*and i want to be insanely in love with my husband when im 65 and beyond. i want to be that old couple at the coffee shop.

*i want to go for a weekend camping trip and completely fall in love with God's creation all over again.
*my financial state is not so great
*i really can't do anything without God. my world will fall apart as soon as I try
*college has been life changing
*i need to get an oil change, its 3 months past due
*i keep thinking about him. and wondering what ever happened. and thinking that i lost a chance at something great. and wishing that i could make him happy.

*i'm okay.

*i would really like to go for a long run outside.
*i want to be a little kid again, please?
*God's standards are not YOUR standards.
*i love a nice beard and i think all men should try to grow one at least once in their life
*i wish that i was great at playing the piano
*i'm not letting myself get hurt any more. and i'm not hurting people.
*security.
*i'm going to be different.
*sometimes the future scares me.
*brother, oh brother.
*my future has been written.